1. Coxswain: Colin (Joe) Millar

Joe is very dedicated. He has spent more time at Troon Lifeboat station than any of crew (and most of the bricks also) He will only leave the station for ten minutes every Monday morning. It is believed that he signs forms for the government when he is away from the station but this is yet unproven.

Occupation: Entrepeneur!

Brian is renowned for his "Happy-go-Lucky" disposition and his tolerance of those not as intelligent as himself. ^(sarcasm)

3. Mechanic: Andrew “Ollie” Alston

Occupation: Landscaper

I have no information about “Oliver” that is fit for publication!

4. Emergency Mechanic: Clive “Shirley!” Lawson

Occupation: Air Traffic Control

The man who will not say one word when 2000 will do! Clive already takes more abuse than the rest of the crew put together so it would be unfair to denounce him further.

5. Crewman: Gary “Schillachi” Pringle

Occupation: Air Traffic Control

Gary is not named after the famous Italian footballer because of his talent with the ladies but more because he has a remarkably similar hairstyle (it's missing!) Maybe his nickname should be changed to Monty because as the photo shows, he bears a striking resemblance to Homer Simpsons boss - Montgomery Burns

6. Deputy 2nd Cox: Walter Barr

Occupation: Joiner

Walter is married to Dawn who is a hairdresser by day and took on Walter as a makeover project. As yet no amount of cutting and blow drying has improved his looks but Dawn is determined to get Walter to a state where she can take him out in public! Also known as Christopher Columbus for his immense skill on the Nav Table!

7. Crewman: Lorne McCallum

Occupation: Power Systems

Lorne is a keen motorcyclist and travels to works at Grangemouth every day on his bike. The journey takes approximately 2 hours, 1 hour to get there and 1 hour to thaw his hands off the grips!

8. Crewman: Callum Anderson

Occupation: Student (Law)

Troon Lifeboats very own Ally McBeal (except without the looks, talent, brains, style, sense of humour, etc. etc.) Callums feet are so huge fourteen Cubans recently stole his left shoe and used it to sail into Miami.

9. Crewman: Fraser Hutchison

Occupation: Firefighter

Fraser has had to give up sleep due to the birth of his son. Usually this leads to a confused state of consciousness. It will be difficult to spot the symptoms in Fraser!

10. Crewman: Andrew Limond

Occupation: Another Student (Politics?)

Andrew is very quiet most of time and especially on board the boat. This is because he is usually suffering from the effects of sea-sickness (even within the confines of the harbour!!!)

11. Crewman: Roger Herron

Occupation: Apprentice Joiner

Roger is Walter's apprentice and has already learned everything Walter has to teach. In fact he is now teaching Walter how to knock nails into bits of wood!

12. Crew(wo)man: Karen Cree

Occupation: Human Resources

Karen is the first woman to make the grade at Troon Lifeboat. She has already beaten many of the crew at the annual arm wrestling championship and can out-drink all of them.

14. TBC

15. TBC

17. TBC

20. Reserve Crewman: Brian “Hanshie” Hannah

Occupation: Chief Engineer

Hanshie is the only professional seaman amongst the volunteers at Troon. He is away most of the year enjoying views of the Carribbean and the South Pacific through his port-hole in the engine room of a large cruise liner. Comes home for short visits from time to time and then sleeps right through them! Unfortunately Hanshie is not good-looking enough to have his photo published here.